Progress

So, it's been 3 weeks since surgery and I'm slowly progressing from the walker to the cane! Still a bit of work even walking with the cane. I think I'm so anxious to get walking normally. Recovery is so self-strengthing in so many ways. Body, Mind, & Spirit. As each day comes and goes, I think of all the things I want to do, that I couldn't do before, and things I wanted to do and didn't apply myself to do it. I find that as I get stronger, my confidence is also building up. So everyday I'm deciding on those things I plan and intend to do that will only make me stronger.

It's sometimes easy to be embarrassed by the fact of being so young and having such a medical history as I do, but then again, it's accepting that this is the life God gave me. Who am I to argue it? I'm just grateful that I am breathing and that I can function on my own. I am proud that I am a miracle of God's grace. That is the humble fortitude that carries me thru pain of healing. Positive thinking can take you so far. Maintaining positive actions, people, thoughts and prayers are also what contributes to willing myself to get up every morning and out of bed.

Some days are harder than others, but I can reassure myself that pushing forward will lead me to where I want to be. That healthy, happy, strong woman who doesn't let anything keep her down!

What's good and what's not good

It's a well known fact that no matter what event is taking place, when you're in need of focus and concentration, the last thing you need is stress. Sometimes the event itself can carry stress of it's own and any added frustration is just not healthy.

Surgery and recovery obviously comes with plenty of stress and worry of its own... so to have any outside annoyances is completely unnecessary and detrimental to a good and productive recovery. Unfortunately, for me it comes with the territory of dealing with family. I don't know why or how, but the ones that should be there for you the most... sometimes lack and make it difficult. What some people, whether friends or family, don't understand is how unwanted and third party stress can negatively affect a sickly person. The other day I was just out of my mind with the nonsense people bring to my door, it had me in such a miserable fit, that my whole body ached. Not just my leg, but my shoulders, my head, my back. I had such a fitful sleep, tears and all.

Word to the wise.... Be sure that when you are going under any medical procedure or ordeal in general, that you eliminate any possible cause of stress or anything added that is absolutely unnecessary. You, as the patient, need to be clear minded and calm, relaxed and concentrated on the task of getting well. Not down under! Remove any sources that could bring you depression. It's simply not healthy and not what your battle should indetail. At the end of the day, it's about my well-being. My capability to continue on with the struggles of my own life. Whatever God may allow to come my way. Any negative and mal-intented words or actions, are not welcomed. Those fights and battles are just a foolish waste to time.

Be healthy, be good, be wise, and let recovery take you to a better place where a stronger you awaits!

Some Days Are Rough

One of the worst things about recovery... is the pain of recovery. Whether it's your incision healing and itching and you can't touch it. Or building up your muscle strength when you feel like you have nothing there. It can even be the itch on your pinky toe that you can't reach for the life of you... it all can be frustratingly painful.

Last night, I believe I suffered what could have been a spasm. Somewhere low in my back. I awoke with such alarming pain in my right hip (when it's the left side that was operated on), I was sure something was wrong. After a terrible night's sleep and extremely sore therapy... I was all to happy to go back to my room and let my body relax.Therapy has been great, and I've been moving along pretty well; but the soreness that the week has left me in, was almost too much to take today. Thank God it's Friday and I can let my body relax and tend to it's own. Don't get me wrong, of course I'll stay active and do my own exercises, but I know I can take it a little easy. 

One of the best things about recovery, is the people who give you an iron backbone of support! I couldn't thank my friends and loved ones enough. They have been the will in me to get myself to a better and improved Jen. They are my inspiration to be strong and feisty, and they are the reason I continue to carry a smile no matter the pain or hardship. They are always there for me. Following is a beautiful note a very good buddy of mine wrote just for the fighter in me!!!

Title: Purple Fighter:

The passage of time has brought us together. Friend is what we are; overtime, our bond has grown thick like the chain that keeps us linked. When I first met you, I didn’t know anything about you. The seasons flew by and here we are, friends for life. Your struggle is bearable yet, torture. I understand your pain, albeit, I see light at the end of your tunnel.

You’re warm and cool like the colors red and blue, respectively. Blended together, makes an interesting compound color. It makes sense, considering that is your favorite hue. Purple is well imbued in your veins. You’re blood stream is bright like the birthstone to your birthday. The appealing color is uplifting, encouraging, and creative to no end. You are spiritual as well, possibly see more than what’s within. I suppose it was heaven sent. 

A product of an environment that stands under the shower of a disease that you didn’t ask for, painful as it is. Yet, you still remain strong and don’t let it bother you at all. I can see it in your eyes and posture, treating it like another day in the life. With short stature and hidden muscles to my surprise, you treat it like another day, another fight.

She is the purple fighter! You fight with fists held high, eyes stern with a gaze that pierces through your enemy’s skull and possibly through the wall. With grace and mental toughness, she has the capability to fight with elegance like a purple flower that shines under the sun. No matter the weather, rain or shine, stand tall and head held high under heaven’s eye. 

“Determination” is the key that unlocks the door to her strength, such a powerful tool that is the source of her panacea to this arthritic leech. Fight hard and keep going. If ever you falter, get back up. You have my support and others as well. Get well soon and of course I bid you adieu. And one more thing, “Together we will find a cure! That is what my wrist speaks in potent volume.

Written by: Jeffrey Lescouflair

Needles & A Walker

This morning, while taking a shower, I checked all the bruises on my arms. I can see that some of them are finally going away. One thing that I'm sure anyone, old or young can relate with, is that when you're in the hospital, it's like an attack of the needles. No one likes needles, and it's worse the second they might think something else is wrong with you other than the reason you came in for. One night, I got stuck 6 times total in both arms, just because they couldn't find a good vein for the contrast they use when doing a CAT scan. Mind you, I was already being stuck every morning at 5am for regular blood work, for a whole week before. It almost becomes torture. How terrible does it look when you have a 28 year old woman start to cry every time someone with a needle comes in? Did I mention I was getting those blood thinner shots in my stomach everday?

And then, there is the conquering the Walker. My body laughs at me everyday I get up and grab a holder of a multi-grey walker, with bright yellow/green tennis balls at the bottom of it. My body tells me everyday: "this is not natural... what are you doing holding on to this thing. Let it go already.. you can walk with out it... You'll be using it in at least 40 years, what's the rush?"
And then my injured side responds back: "what are you stupid? Let me go, and we're all going straight down to the ground. Who cares how old you are... You can't walk straight yet... stop worrying it's not forever. Simple as that."
And simple as that, I hold on to this aged device as if my life depended on it... which in a not so dramatic way it kinda does... Sigh..

Well good thing is that the bruises are finally fading, and humble pie has become my daily dessert.

Total Hip Replacement

Hi, I'm Jennifer, and as of today I have been living with Lupus for exactly 5 years this month. I'm 28 years old, and this is my day-to-day life with lupus.

I have the arthritic kind of Lupus. From my neck down to my feet, I have arthritis in all my major joints. Osteoarthritis to be exact. This coming Monday will make 2 weeks that I received a hip replacement because of the extent of damage the last 5 years has taken on my leg in particular.

I was born a sickly baby as it is... Having transposition of the heart, done with a muster procedure, and later having a pacemaker placed when I was 13 months old. So hospitals have been a constant thing in my life.
There was a time I was so happy to not be at the docs office more than twice a year... When I was 23, and once again going thru something that doc's had no idea what to do with.. It was quite devastating. So many of my hopes of medical miracles went right out the window. I suffered so much physically that I was sure God was punishing me for not obeying Him as I should have long ago.

I find myself here at 28, thankful that God is still by my side. Giving me Super Woman strength to endure all the things I've endured so far. I'm re-learning how to walk, but you wouldn't know it by talking to me or even looking at me. I stand a tall 5'3, with my back straight; legs ready to go wherever my feet are ready to take me.

Today, I didn't get group therapy, as they didn't come into the rehab center I am currently staying in. But that didn't stop me from getting up and doing the exercises myself, and then going for a walk in the courtyard... This is who I am... never sitting still. Never allowing the hindrances that life throws at me to hinder me. I keep moving forward. No matter what.. My faith is too big, too deep, and too powerful to not prove that I am strong, and that God has great plans for my life!